we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
