so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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