I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
