the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
