Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
