remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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