Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
