I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize