No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
PANTIES FOUND
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
