Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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