I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
