Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
