he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
