I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
