It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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