And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
