im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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