Just mADE A PArabola og urine
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
All the doctor said was why
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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