My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
