The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
