when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
