So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
