Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
