wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just forgot I was standing up.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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