Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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