We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
