Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
