Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Randomize
