We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
