We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
