I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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