It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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