so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
