Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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