I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
