He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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