we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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