It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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