I want to have your abortion
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
