I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
