Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
