Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
