p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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