I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
