I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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