he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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