and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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