then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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