Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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