whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Your cock deserves a montage
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
