great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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