I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
