Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
