Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize