His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
