A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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