Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
