i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
